Thanks for the warm welcome!

Moe, Larry, and Curly

I found this picture while browsing the internets on a typical lonely night.  I don't know the context of the picture, how old it is, and why these three ladies are trying to pass off as triplets, but what I know is that I am really offended!  Yes, I am totally offended that they ruined the reputation of the fanny pack, which I am actively trying to bring back into fashion!

All kidding aside (I really do like the convenience of waist pouches though), the whole "SPEAK ENGLISH" (capitalized and bolded so you can imagine some red-faced monster screaming it in your face) demand really irritates me.  In the following list, I will reveal why it bothers me so.

1. For centuries, people have been immigrating to America for the same reason -- to pursue a better life.  You don't think these non-English speakers would prefer to sit comfortably in a classroom learning the language?  When the hands stop working, the mouth stops eating.  When one has family to take care of and bills to pay, the priority would be to find work. 
2. Many English-only speakers become uncomfortable around those who speak another language.  Oh my gosh, they are totally plotting against you!  These people need to stop being so insecure and stop thinking that everything revolves around them.  Egocentric/ethnocentric, much?  And here's a better idea...  How about you go and learn another language, so when people start speaking it, you can join in the conversation!  Win-win!
3. People automatically assume that people of color struggle with English.  I was once at a local event celebrating Asian and Asian American culture and a white woman asked me if I was alright with her having a cigarette.  Hesitantly, I said, "Sure, I guess" (because I was enjoying a delicious hot link and didn't want her cancer stick fumes to ruin it, but I didn't want to be discriminatory).  She loudly replied, "What?  You don't speak English?"  You know...  People think that when they are speaking to a non-English speaker, talking loudly would do the trick.  Enunciating every word carefully, I said, "No, I-SAID-SURE-I-GUESS."  I hope that helped her understand me.  What is this lady doing at a culture fair?  And why is it that instead of asking politely for me to repeat myself, assume that I had said I didn't speak English?
4. Let's see how you English-only speakers (who insist on that SPEAK ENGLISH thing) deal when we drop you off at some random place far away from the comforts of your narrow-minded world and see how well you will survive.  Oh, how I'd love to watch a reality show based on this.  However, I wouldn't be shocked to see these people wondering why no one speaks English there and demeaning the culture and the language.  Nevermind.

 I will stop the list at number four (because I'm lazy and I need to continue my mindless cyber browsing), but it's ongoing.  Check back for more.